In Eckleburg's Eyes - 10/20/2008, Part 3

After church, I went to the Lady Vols’ volleyball game. This last sentence presented a logistical nightmare. I drove JTH from Bearden United Methodist Church to Lenoir City to pick up CRF at his home. The three of us then went back to Bearden to pick up ALK from McAlister’s Deli where she was eating with her mother. We then picked up food from McDonald’s as the rest of us had not had time to eat before the game. We worried about sneaking food into the game. This was foolish as we could have carried a loaded bazooka into the building and no one would have stopped us.

We were joined at the game by PCR and Amber and sat in our usual seats. I never dreamt I would have standard seats at volleyball games. We paid $3 for tickets and they charge the same price for a normal sized pack of M&M’s. There is something wrong with that.

We saw the Lady Vols defeat Arkansas 25-21, 25-18, 17-25, 25-21. (Is their team the Lady Hogs?) This was my third game of the season and we have won each one I attended. For the second straight game, the opponent had a large Asian on the front line- Yun Tang. I do not know why I document this only that it seems strange in the south.

In my opinion, our best advantage was at libero. I am incredibly biased as I think Chloe Goldman is gorgeous. (She has a boyfriend, mom.) Arkansas’ answer was Phoebe Bautista. Though it was amusing to hear her name on the p.a. (she have the same surname as JTH’s favorite wrestler), she was perhaps the least athletic looking person I have ever seen involved in SEC Sports. She eerily resembled our Filipino friend GAB. She favored him so much that had she had the name “Glenda” I would have smelled a rat. Not only was Chloe superior, but she got two aces on service points, which was an unexpected bonus to say the least.

If anyone from the Lady Vols’ marketing department reads this, give out a date with Chloe as the prize. That would be a draw!

The big topic of a conversation was who needed a beat down more: the emcee or the cheerleaders. The latter won by a wide margin. We no longer ask why they are necessary. Them tapping their megaphones to the beat of the band's songs may be the most unmasculine thing EVER! Public castration might be less emasculating. I am fairly certain they could evoke homicidal thoughts from Gandhi. As an aside, their lone cheer, “Point Lady Vols” sounds fittingly like “I have no balls".