In Eckleburg's Eyes - 12/26/2008

I had a fantastic Christmas as I got to see almost my entire family.

My Christmas began as it always has, opening gifts with my parents. Typically one of my favorite parts of this process is unveiling the gifts my paternal grandmother got the family just to see what esoteric item she came up with. She did not disappoint. There were two gifts of note. First, I received this clock in the shape of a space shuttle. I am not sure if it is symbolic of my mental state or not.

Second, this is my mother shortly after she opened her gift. It is a bell designed to be positioned outdoors and ring when the wind blows. Though it is difficult to tell from this photo, it is has “The Vinsons” painted on it. This means there will be no re-gifting outside of the family. (Note: My mother is the second person to make the blog in her bathrobe this year. KJW did it last last week.)

Neither of these two gifts rank very high on the all-time inventory. They cannot. We actually knew what their function was upon opening them.

My parents (read: mom) got me a Nintendo Wii for Christmas. I was surprised as I was not even certain we would be exchanging gifts due to the economic state of the economy in general and my family specifically. My cousin MLW bought the system and selected the appropriate accessories. Yet another reason I refer to him as the “-in-law jackpot”.

We then made the trip down Northshore Drive to my uncle JHV’s home. There was a massive crowd of 28 on hand to eat together. Family present were: my dad’s brother’s family (5), his in-law’s MWM and JHM (2), my dad’s sister and her husband (2), my mom’s brother’s family (8), their in-laws (3), and my family (3). Also in attendance were my cousin LAV’s dear friend JS and his family (4, pictured) and another friend named Melissa (1), a social work major at Pellissippi State Technical Community College. The Scarpino family is always welcome and not just because the father, FAS, is a Gene Simmons doppelgänger. Amazingly, there were no Chinese present at the event.

Also conspicuously absent were my paternal grandparents. They were recovering from a stomach virus in Newport. They received a digital frame for Christmas and requested that we photograph everyone heavily to add to the frame. After lunch, it was like a paparazzi convention at the house. I suggested an experiment. I thought we should send them last year’s photos to see if they could determine any difference. The only objection was that they were in some of the photos.

Regarding the transportation of said pictures, my grandmother requested we send her a CD. My uncle said we could not do that as she has no computer. She asked what good the frame was then. Then, he said that they could take the frame and upload the pictures to it. She responded by asking what good the frame was if it was not there for her to see the photos. This went on for minutes!

My aunt MCVD did come despite her recovering from the same virus. I was under strict orders not to hug one of my favorite people. This is also significant as she brought her dressing, my favorite holiday food. My aunt LAMV also made dressing as she was uncertain as to whether or not MCVD could complete her assignment. LAMV’s dressing was good. MCVD’s was great.

It was great to see all six of my first cousins in one place for the first time in years. There has little news on my four maternal cousins since the last time they were featured in the December 1st edition of “In Eckleburg’s Eyes”. The big news is that HANW’s baby, due May 11th, is a girl. She is tentatively named Mikaela Clare. I realize that I most likely butchered the spelling of her first name. It does not matter. I will be calling her M.C. Walker. (Given her genetics, she will likely be a dancing machine like M.C. Hammer.) Due to my history with KJW, I have been prohibited from assisting in her verbal training.

My two cousins on my dad’s side of the family are also well. LAV maintained her 4.0 for another semester at UT. She is an English major though is not enthused by her field. With no particular interests, she chose the field she was best in. She hopes one day to teach. JEV has enrolled in courses at Pellissippi and is hoping to ease his way back into the educational system. Keep this venture in your prayers.

I spent the majority of the day with mom’s side of the family. My aunt JSN referred to something using the expression “The Bomb”. It was great.

On Christmas night, I ate hamburgers with my parents before JTH and ALK arrived to exchange gifts. ALK brought me some homemade apple butter from her church, St. Mark United Methodist Church. I am excited. I have never had Methodist apple butter before.

We then visited JTH’s paternal aunt Mary Hawk. We dropped off some of JTH’s homemade puppy chow and watched Deal or No Deal with her. I always thought Hawk was her last name, but I learned that it was a nickname. Her surname is actually Giles. JTH had not seen her in nearly two years. He had to explain who he was on the phone. They are very close.

I have never met anyone with such open disdain for her own family. It was great. We also learned that she did not attend her brother’s wedding. Why? “I don’t go to weddings.” At one point, two phones were ringing simultaneously. After checking the caller ID, she proclaimed, “I won’t answer either one.” I appreciated her candor.

It was a good Christmas.