In Eckleburg's Eyes - 11/26/2008, Part 2

The Return of the Movie Man

On Tuesday night I received an urgent phone call from JTH at 9:25 pm. He was working a shift at MoFoS. I had assumed I was in for the night and it would have taken a great deal to get me out again. That great deal came in the form of the notorious The Movie Man being in the store. I quickly got dressed and hit the road. The Movie Man would not disappoint.

The Movie Man is the reason everyone should work retail at least once (and preferably no more than once) and the reason I have a blog (to document such encounters). He is a one-time regular customer who purchases only VHS tapes. His real name is Rick though he gave himself the designation of The Movie Man. He often asks other customers how many movies they think he owns. He then has his wife tell them 23000 before informing his audience that he is indeed The Movie Man. His collection is comprised entirely of VHS tapes (read: worthless), many of which are kept in a storage facility. He is surreal. He is like a caricature that we could not have made up if we tried. And yes, this guy has a wife and I don’t! (This image is of his wife sitting in the store’s floor and holding her husband’s selections while he shopped.)

The Movie Man wears the same clothes each time he frequents the store and usually reeks of alcohol. EA and TK were also in the store and had never encountered The Movie Man before. They concurred with JTH, who equated his looks to Mickey Rourke’s character “Marv” in Sin City. I added that this comparison is only valid if you take out any cool aspects of Marv's persona. When I asked TK how he would describe The Movie Man’s accent (keeping in mind he talks continuously), he replied,“Red neck mixed with stupid.” Dare I say, that was Keene observation.

When last seen, The Movie Man was being beaten outside of Halls store. Evidently, he was a drug dealer and as such carrying a lot of cash. (Two Halls employees were subpoenaed to testify at a trial in conjunction with this incident.) A far more svelte version of The Movie Man appeared at the store on Tuesday night. He noted that he was on a fixed income and could not come in as much as he used to. He instructed JTH to “Do me good.” This was not a proposition or the title of a rap song. The Movie Man had begun asking for a discount upon walking in the door. (I especially love this photo as the bar which concealed by surveillance is visible.)

The Movie Man's re-emergence was big news at the store. NHH also got a call informing of The Movie Man’s return. (JTH would not have wanted him to feel cheated.) Unfortunately, there was a great failure to communicate. NHH thought JTH said, “We have the movie, man” in reference to Hancock, which had been released earlier in the day on DVD. Obviously what JTH had said was, "We have The Movie Man." When NHH realized the mistake, he snuck out of the store quickly. The Movie Man had a strange habit of attempting to hug NHH while in a drunken stupor. I can't blame NHH for leaving as quickly as possible. To add insult to injury, we did not have Hancock.

When I learned of The Movie Man’s presence, I asked the crew to stall him. I need not have worried. He kept the store open late, not leaving until 10:21. The store was slated to close at 10 pm. He selected 79 items, including two different copies of The Karate Kid. Evidently they had slightly different covers. After JTH had significantly discounted his bill down to $247.17, including no less than ten freebies, the Movie Man was still not pleased. It seems JTH had not done him good.

Negotiations proceeded for minutes. The Movie Man asked if managers Casey or Jason could give him a better discount. Unfortunately, no one by those names has ever worked at the store. After much debate, The Movie Man decided to have his selections boxed and come back when a manager was there the following morning. (Yes, the Movie Man came behind the counter during the checkout process.)

Shortly after he left, TK placed all of the tapes back on the shelves. TK’s girlfriend was more relieved than the rest of us when he left. She thought he might pull a gun on us.

The kicker is that at one point while shopping, The Movie Man left the store. What was he doing? He actually urinated by his car in the parking lot! Who does that? Answer: The Movie Man. On the plus side, he did not do so in the store. There was a puddle in the parking lot when we left. Seriously.

Sadly, my writing does not do The Movie Man justice. Suffice it to say, it was well worth the trip to the store.

In more positive store news, the place has been decorated for Christmas. In addition to looking festive, left over ornaments have already served as fodder for destruction.