Perhaps the thing I missed most while in New York last week were WAM's insights from Sunday School. So without further ado, here are eight further excepts from the Gospel According to WAM:
- In response to the question “What was Saul doing when he first met Samuel?" [Looking for his father's donkey's (I Samuel 9:3)]: "Wasn't he blind?" WAM was thinking of the Saul of Acts 9, though I do not believe that Saul ever met anyone named Samuel in the Biblical text.
- In response to the question “According to church tradition, why did a Greek governor have the apostle Andrew crucified?" [Because he converted his wife to Christianity]: "Did he tell him he couldn't have any more hedonistic sex parties?" There may be some truth to this theory.
- In response to the question “Which book prophesies exclusively against Edom?" [Obadiah]: "An evil prophet."
- In response to the question “What was the relationship between Rachel and Bilhah?" [Bilhah was Rachel's maidservant (Genesis 35:25)]: "There was a guy in the Bible named Bill?"
- In response to the question “Complete the verse: 'If ye abide in me and my words abide in you...'" ["ye shall ask what ye will and it shall be done unto you" (John 15:7)]: "Ye shall get the bonus prize."
- In response to the question “According to the King James Version of the Bible, the two mites which the poor widow offered to the temple were equivalent to one _________ in value." [Farthing (Mark 12:42)]: "Like, she farted?"
- In response to the question “What line of prophecy immediately precedes this one: "Your young men shall see visions"? ["Your old men shall dream dreams" (Joel 2:28)]: "Don't worry. You're not crazy."
- In response to the question “What did Onan spill on the ground, displeasing God?" [His seed (or semen) (Genesis 38:7-10)]: "I bet he'd be popular in the porn industry." Touché.
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