WAM Quote of the Day - 3/30/2008

WAM was in rare form on Sunday as the group participated in Bible Trivia. He was either unbelievably on or off depending upon your point of view. Here are his top seven comments (in the order they occurred) in what I will call the Gospel According to WAM:

In response to the question “Where did Jesus go immediately after he was baptized?” [The wilderness (Matthew 4:1)]: “Are you sure it was not because he drowned in a river and wanted to go some place with as little water as possible?” I pride myself on being well read, but the homicidal John the Baptist theory is a new one on me.

In response to the question “What physical problem did the woman have who was healed by touching the garment of Jesus?” [An issue of blood (Matthew 9:20-21)]: “She had the thing about twelve years of PMS.”

In response to the question “What secret did Esther keep from her husband.” [That she was Jewish (Esther 2:10)]: “What was the name of that singer?...Like Hollywood..the really big nose.” We were able to deduce he was speaking of Barbra Streisand. He then explained that she said you could tell a Jewess by her nose. (I find this hard to believe.) His point being, that Xerxes should have known. This seems like a good time for the reminder: This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my church, my friends, or anyone on the planet outside of WAM and maybe not even him.

In response to the question, “What people used old clothes and moldy bread to deceive Joshua?” [The Gibeonites (Joshua 9)]: “Wasn’t it the mosquitotites?” At least it was not the mosquito bites.

In response to the question, “What solution did Solomon propose to the two women who claimed the same baby?” [To divide the baby in half with a sword (I Kings :24-25)]: “Was it horizontally or vertically?” While he was attempting to determine which half the child would prefer and at which age this opinion might change, we changed the subject.

In response to the question, “What archaeological find, kept in the British Museum, depicts the exploits of Jehu?”[The Back Obelisk]: “Is that supposed to be the ancestor of J-Lo?”

In response to the question, “Which book in the Bible immediately preceded Galatians?”[II Corinthians]: “II Peters...I knew it was second something...”

Admit it, don’t you want to come to my Sunday School class?!? And for all you teachers and professors who wanted me to receive some of what I have dished out over the years, WAM singlehandedly fills the bill (pun intended).