In Eckleburg's Eyes - 10/1/2008, Part 1

Part 1 of this edition of “In Eckleburg’s Eyes” is titled “Chan Goes to the Allergist.” I am describing the process in detail for two reasons: 1. If any of you are contemplating being tested for allergies, you will know what to expect. 2. I will document what the allergist told me to do as I inevitably would forget otherwise.

I spent Tuesday morning at the Allergy, Asthma & Sinus Center. I had been there many times to drop SMA off in their “shotroom” but on this day I was going to have a battery of tests run. Having the appointment scheduled in advance, I already had completed my paperwork and had the Claritin out of my system when I arrived. Going without medicine for a week affected me, but not as much as I would have thought.

My appointment began in the office of Robert M. Overholt (RMO). RMO, also known as “Dr. Bob” has his own radio and television program in the area known as the Dr. Bob Show. His office was decorated with family photos everywhere. In fact, I am not sure that my family owns as many photos as adorn his office.

Before examining me, RMO wanted to get to know me. When he learned that I attended McAfee, he asked if f I was familiar with John Claypool. I liked this guy already.

RMO is a member of a member of West Hills Baptist Church and as such knows my seminary pal AJP (the former pastor’s son). In fact, all of AJP’s family works with him. AJP’s brother Ty (TLP) is a doctor and his sisters all also work there. RMO was also familiar with Carson-Newman College and my church’s pastor, LWF. I could have talked with RMO for hours.

After talking with RMO, I went into Exam Room 1. Upon examination, RMO discovered that my nose showed signs of a serious allergy problem. This was great as it meant I could be helped and also that I am not just a pansy.

Shortly after this inspection, a nurse named Lisa wrote on my back and scratched me 72 times to test for various allergies. After fifteen minutes, these pricks would have swelled were I allergic. I tested positive for only one. I had a strong reaction to dust mites.

I then went with a nurse named Sherry into another room where I was given a lead apron and a CT scan. Two images were taken, one shot took an instant and in another I had to remain still with my eyes closed for forty seconds. The results came back negative for a chronic sinus infection. The news was almost as cool as the fact that I wore a lead apron.

I then returned to the exam room where Lisa gave me ten more markings on each arm. Though the process was not painful, I felt as though a really bad tattoo artist had taken me captive. The first tests were externally focused on the outside of my skin, these tests were done beneath the skin.

While awaiting the results, I watched a brief video on allergies and dust mites. The video was hosted by RMO but the audio track was slightly off, giving it the feel of an Asian martial arts film. I learned that my allergies were caused by genetics. I have yet another thing to thank my parents for.

My favorite line from the video was: “When you lay on your pillow you leave a hot fudge Sunday for the dust mites.” I learned the following tips for ameliorating dust bites:

• Cover the pillow and bed with a “vinyl” protective covering.
  
• Wash the bedding in a hot cycle at least 130 degrees or more as the dust mites can survive the cold cycle.
  
• Do not run a ceiling fan in the bedroom.
  
• If given the choice, do not have carpeting in the bedroom.
  
• Position the vent so that it faces away from the bed.

The positive news was that doing these simple tasks has been known to cause improvement in as quickly as 5-6 days.

After watching the video, another nurse washed my arm and then I debriefed in RMO’s office.

I learned that 30% of people have an allergy to dust mites. In addition to the “Allergy Avoidance Program” detailed above, I was two given prescriptions for nasal sprays. I am to spray (to the outside of the nose) Flonase twice each morning. I am also to use Astelin twice daily. This topical antihistamine helps in four different ways and is RMO’s favorite antihistamine. I felt guilty for not having a favorite antihistamine.

I also made a three-year commitment to allergy shots. As the program persists, the shots will becoming less frequent. During the first three months, I will be injected twice a week and weekly for the remainder of the first year. If all goes according to schedule, I would be injected once every two weeks for the remaining two years. There is a 50% chance I will show improvement by the end of the year and an 85% chance that the allergies will eventually be eliminated entirely. My regime begins on October 14th.

RMO was very sympathetic to the ministry noting that it is the second hardest job in the country, behind major college football coach. Thankfully my name is not in the paper every time I give a poor sermon.

I bought a cover for my pillow at the Patient Care Center and was on my way. It was a great experience. It took about 1 ½ hours, less than the two hours that had been projected. Everyone was incredibly nice as well. If you have allergy problems, this is the place to go.

Afterwards, I met JTH at Big Fatty’s Catering Kitchen. The place was packed and we had to sit at the restaurant’s purple high top chairs. I ate the blue plate special - chicken ‘n dumplings with a side of scalloped potatoes. I am really glad my blood pressure was checked prior to this meal as I am fairly certain I clogged some arteries in the process. Sadly, I think it was worth it.