Welcome to the special Labor Day edition of Eckleburg’s Eyes. And by special, I mean that there is absolutely nothing different about it than any other weekend update. The biggest event of the weekend was attending the Boomsday celebration with my friends.
Saturday marked the first Saturday of the college football season. I spent the day with SMA. I met SMA at his house before going out for breakfast. I actually got to see the remains of the notorious orange and white checkerboard cake from earlier in week. It looked good.
Naturally, as any self respecting Knoxville native would be, SMA was watching the ESPN pregame show when I arrived. I got in just in time to view a feature on Tim Tebow’s offseason mission work. That guy would be the most likeable player in football history were it not for his being a Florida Gator and the existence of Verne Lundquist. The latter’s infatuation is actually far more a deterrent that his playing for a rival.
Seeing on the program guide that United Championship Wrestling (UCW) started at 11:30 on WVLT (our local CBS affiliate), we waited to check it out. It is rare that a local wrestling promotion gets such coveted air time. We wanted to see what it was. We were sorely disappointed as it was the same cast of local characters who have been in town for years. The quality was horrid and crawlers repeatedly ran throughout the broadcast. How did they get the time slot?
SMA decided we would eat at Perkins. It was a difficult decision as someone really needs to invent a breakfast restaurant that also has television sets on site. We represented for the first time all season, displaying UT flags on SMA’s car.
I had not eaten at a Perkins in years. I tired the Heartland omelette. It was okay. While there Van Morrison’s “Wild Night” played and SMA was perturbed, theorizing that it should never be played before 6 pm except for in places like Alaska where it is always dark. Hopefully he will use his law degree to pass such groundbreaking legislation.
Speaking of which, SMA has applied to work at a small family law practice in Oak Ridge. He may center his job search in the Oak Ridge and Maryville areas. The Oak Ridge law firm does a great deal of work pursuing deadbeat dads. I suggested that should they not hire him, he start a feud with them, representing only the deadbeat dads they prosecute. The conversation disseminated from there.
On Sunday morning, Sunday School convened as usual. For a particularly provocative dialogue between WAM and myself, check out the WAM Quote of the Day.
I spent Sunday night with KLTW, KJW, and MPW. We attended a cookout at MPW’s mother’s home and then went to Boomsday in downtown Knoxville.
I met everyone at RAW’s house at 5:30. I arrived to find a diaper on the staircase. I soon learned that the diaper was symbolic. When KJW graduated from the bottle to the sippy cup, KLTW tossed the bottle outside as a symbolic act that it was no longer needed. She decided to duplicate this act in hopes of stimulating potty training. While I was there, we repeated the act with a box of diapers. From the rest of the day’s results, it would appear that the potty training transition will take longer than that to the sippy cup.
The event that prompted these sign acts came earlier in the day. When RAW and KLTW picked up KJW from the church’s nursery, KLTW quickly discovered that her daughter was not wearing any underwear. She turned back and the nursery attendants were shocked assuring the parents that they had indeed changed her diaper. A quick inspection of the room showed that KJW had wet her diaper, taken it off, and placed in the toy box. They were so lucky that it was just urine.
KJW had spent the day telling people she was either a “big girl dinosaur” or a “fish dinosaur”. What the latter is, we have no idea. I still chose to use it citing that big girl dinosaurs are probably potty trained. I learned that associating big girls and potty training was a bad strategy as children will revert back and wet themselves when they want to exhibit regression. Once again, I have stunted the child’s growth.
KLTW, KJW, MPW and I soon left for JMW’s South Knoxville home for a cookout. The food was great as JMW provided jumbo shrimp, hamburgers, and Johnsonville Brats. As you can tell, KJW was especially pleased with the Brown Cow she ate for dessert. (KLTW would like to note the great unintentional boob shot I took.)
Unfortunately, RAW could not attend the festivities. He was required to work a “heroes” day at Best Buy. The store reopened after hours and provided special discounts to all public school teachers. While a noble gesture, it was not well planned, having been placed on the night of holiday. Furthermore, RAW is not allowed to do much of anything at such events anyway. RAW was not pleased and tried in vain to get out of the appointment.
After eating, we took KJW to Boomsday. Boomsday is annual fireworks display which is broadcast on local television. The fireworks are shot off from the Henley Street Bridge in downtown Knoxville. Though this was the 21st annual Boomsday, I am fairly certain it is the first time I have attended. Prior to KJW, the hassle was never worth it to me. Honestly, as much as I love the child, it may still not be.
We parked at Baptist Hospital and after discovering the Gay Street Bridge was closed, wound up viewing the festivities from inside the hospital. In the event we were somewhere we were not supposed to be, I called MLM to see if anyone needed a hospital visit.
We had a great view of the events. We were directly across the river from Calhoun’s on the River. We were also positioned next to Robin Wilhoit and the WBIR news team, who were broadcasting the event live.
KJW loved the fireworks. She was not the least bit frightened, though her mother held her throughout the event which may account for some of her fearlessness. KJW mumbled the names of the colors as they emerged, trying very hard to keep up with the vast array before her.
I was disappointed. The fireworks are set to music and the first song played was theme to “2001 A Space Odyssey”(Also Sprach Zarathrustra). I was disappointed that Ric Flair did not emerge as I have been conditioned to expect his presence. The next songs were from Miley Cyrus (“See You Again”) and Jonas Brothers (“Burning Up”). We may not have represented the target demographic. Then again, I knew the songs...
There was a really neat fireworks waterfall off of the bridge. I was sort of hoping that they would spell out something with the fireworks. My top choice: “Dyron Nix” (As president of the Concerned Citizens for the Glorification of Dyron Nix - CCFTGODN - that was a natural) or G-Unit.
The event ended at 9:53. (It started at 9:30) MPW noted that the presentation was shorter than Fourth of July version. So, we actually spent longer in the parking lot getting home than at the show itself. Every now and then, KJW chided me from her car seat, “Go Chan! Go!” Eventually, she fell asleep with her head directly up in the air. I was impressed.
Finally (and randomly), why does crushed ice make drinks so much better than cubed ice?
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