In Eckleburg's Eyes - 7/3/2008

I had a great Wednesday, highlighted by attending the championship game of the Rocky Top Basketball League.

I ate lunch with SMA at Colonel’s Deli. This photo is of Lee’s Antiques and Collectibles, located inside of Colonel's Deli. Actually, this display case is actually the entire business. I have never seen anyone buy anything from this part of the store. If I had some disposable cash, I might.

It is worth noting that there was no sign of the health score that dominated our last visit to Colonel’s.

SMA continues in his bar preparation. On this day he covered secure transactions, a class he did not have in law school. He was especially pleased that his instructor referenced the 1988 Jean-Claude Van Damme film Bloodsport.

On Wednesday night, SMA, CST and I attended the final night of the Rocky Top Basketball League at the sauna that is the Bearden High School gymnasium. It was the first time they had attended a game this summer.

We arrived early as we knew this would be a difficult seat to get and they are distributed on a first come, first serve basis. This was wise as at halftime of the first game the fire marshal would not allow anyone else in the building. We were privy to a clinic by Toyota of Knoxville’s Kirill Yakovlev. This guy shot lay ups and free throws for minutes with no one else on the court. Unfortunately, the first game was not much more exciting than this exhibition.

In fact, the game between the league’s 3rd and 4th ranked teams was the least exciting game I have ever attended in the league as many of the marquee players on both teams did not attend and dunks were few and far between. The only advantage was that sitting through the first game merited our seats for the championship game.

In addition to my friends, I sat by by AFD aka “The Italian Stallion”, my old algebra teacher (fifteen years ago!) and the once broadcaster of the league. He informed me that the league was looking for more color this year. He was very diplomatic about the issue. I was not, noting how much I wish he was still the emcee. Otherwise, AFD is well and was recently married for the first time at the age of 52. I also had the unexpected pleasure of sitting behind church member CJC and her daughter Julianne.

It is worth noting that a small child kicked CST in the back throughout the game. He is fairly certain a Nike logo is now embedded in his back. I took the honors during the second game after switching seats with CST. Whenever SMA is present, it is a near certainty than an annoying child will soon follow.

Speaking of annoying, the public address announcer was atrocious as usual. Though I tried to prepare SMA and CST, he is far more grating than I can possibly describe. The sheer volume alone was overbearing. I do think a psychologist should do a study of him as it is rare to get stream of consciousness quotes for that long a period.

He did note his name, Brian Tate aka BT, on more than one occasion. I am sure there was a reason. He noted that the league commissioner signs his paychecks. The fact that he was paid upset us more than anything on the night. His MySpace can be accessed here. If he is 5'8", I’m 6'6". I think he looks like the church father Athanasius (293-373). His enemies gave him the name “The Black Dwarf.”

SMA and CST did make him more entertaining. In the last game, Courtney Pigram was exceptional. Anytime he did anything, such as breathe, he was referred to as “C.P., Causing Problems.” It was nauseating. This did get me a new nickname. Anytime I do anything now SMA has plans to scream “C.V., Cookin’ Victuals.” CST will likewise be “C.T., Cookin’ Taters.

One of my favorite parts of the night came from off of the court. It was standing room only and a group underneath the basket prompted SMA to say, “Doesn’t JTH collect those guys?” They were a group who all wore wife beaters, basketball shorts, etc. They were real-life Homies! I told SMA that his first job as an attorney could be suing on their behalf for unauthorized use of their likeness. Any time my head turned left during the night, I could not control my laughter.

My thoughts on the actual game are posted under a “View from 315A”.

Afterwards, JTH and I ate at Applebees, Evidently, he does not collect Homies. I have a sneaky suspicion that he will soon own some.

The biggest news of the night is that SMA and I have formally titled our organization to get Dyron Nix Jheri curl Night the Concerned Citizens for the Glorification of Dyron Nix (CCFTFODN). Is that all blasphemous?

Finally Wednesday was CMU’s 35th birthday. Happy birthday, Chris!