ChanVinson.com Blog: In Eckleburg's Eyes

By the grace of God, I had a relaxing early weekend. It revolved around exegeting Matthew 15:21-28 and the viewing of the HBO miniseries John Adams. I highly recommend both. On Sunday, I made up for this reprieve by seeing almost everyone I know.

On Friday night I joined GAB, SCB, JTH, and JBT as usual at Applebees. They had come from MoFoS where they had just created MoFoS’ first tip jar. Yes, the company with the worst customer service in human history is now soliciting tips. I approve.

My favorite story of the night came from a game of 21 (the basketball variety, not Blackjack) involving GAB, SCB, and JBT. If you are unfamiliar with the game, it can have virtually an unlimited number of players with the concept being that every player is for herself. As such, picks are unheard of in this game. This did not stop SCB from setting her fiancé up for a brutal pick from GAB. To appreciate this story, you must know that SCB played college basketball and is very competitive and that though GAB is Filipino he is built like a Samoan (to the non-wrestling fan, the proverbial brick house.) Poor JBT was blind sided by an immovable object. I predict great things from this marriage.

In other Friday news, my parents and their friends HWW and LGW hit the campaign trail for their friend Ron Leadbetter (RCL). It was very bizarre seeing the habitually formally attired group in their campaign t-shirts. RCL is running for State Representative in District 18. Ironically none of his aforementioned team can actually vote for him. So, if you happen to live in this district, vote RCL.

As an aside, they must have done a good job because everywhere I drove over the weekened, I saw posters for RCL.

My Sunday began bright and early with a meeting at church with CBP. Shortly thereafter, my parents and I trekked to Newport to celebrate my grandfather’s 82nd birthday. Before joining the festivities, my father inspected cracks in the support beams in the tresses at Southside Baptist Church where my grandparents attend. The beams were the first lumber that arrived when the church was established in 1976 and have not been altered since.

Checking for structural damage required my father to climb a ladder high into the air which made everyone but him nervous. Upon closer inspection, he thankfully found that the cracks do not go all the way through. Images and blueprints will go to structural engineer Richard Bender for analysis. I was most pleased that I managed this great shot of my dad’s butt for posterior-erity.

We then joined my family at the Holiday Inn for my grandfather’s birthday celebration. He was in good spirits as he claims his back injury which has incapacitated him for some time is far better. He is slated to receive another shot on Thursday (July 3rd) to alleviate pain. Please keep him in your prayers.

We had a group of twelve. It seemed like thirteen as the waiter placed himself in the midst of every conversation. He reminded me of a line from Wayne’s World: “For a security guard, he had an awful lot of information, don't you think?”

My cousin JEV was unable to attend due to a case of diarrhea. His sister objected to this personal information being revealed as it my embarrass him. With any other member of my family, she might have been correct.

As usual my baby second cousin CWV stole the show. He was wearing a pair of baby Crocs his Nana had found at an outlet in Boston. My mother was especially taken with him.

My mother insisted on playing a game of “pee pie” with the child (pictured with family friend JS), which he enjoyed. Several questions: Is it pee pie or peep pie? When did this game rename itself peekaboo? My generation and younger preferred the latter while those older the former. More importantly, who names kids’ games anyway? I can think of many better names. I think I would just call the game, “Dude, where’s your face?”

While at the restaurant, well technically hotel, we ran into Johnny Gorrell, pastor of Providence Baptist Church (2263 Cosby Hwy). He graciously invited me to preach before the summer is out at his church. Please pray that this comes to fruition. In addition to loving the task of preaching I am trying to preach at every church in Newport.

Most importantly, there was pie.

Upon returning to Knoxville, I met MHD and his beautiful wife LSPD at Chilis, who were visiting from Atlanta. We were joined by SMA and WRK. It was so great to see them. As you call tell, MHD has grown out his beard in the three weeks since I last saw him. He is the only person I know who rivals me in regards to the spiritual gift of facial hair growing.

The news from Georgia is that a teenager was decapitated on the Batman The Ride feature at Six Flags Over Georgia and that Georgia mascot Uga VI died. The two stories appear to be unrelated.

In other canine news, you may recall that MHD’s dog Klaus barked furiously at me when he met me in Atlanta, which is out of character. On this trip, he met another of MHD’s redheaded friends and responded likewise. MHD has classified the dog as “anti gingerian.” The dog is featured on LSPD’s Facebook. MHD was disappointed to know that the dog did not have his own Facebook account.

We also learned the story of the cat that preceded the dog. Its name was Javonte. (Note: Not a typo.) When they got the dog, they pawned the cat off to a friend under the auspices that he would be providing the equivalent of cat hospice. They assumed the cat was aged and on the brink of death. Upon taking the cat to the vet, they learned that he is only five years old and that the cat may very well outlive their friend.

The conversation was great. I seldom have the opportunity to discuss Hulk Hogan And The Wrestling Boot Band’s album “Hulk Rules”. MHD lamented that Hulk is no longer the one. We also got to discuss Warrior Frenzy. Good times. (LSPD and WRK loved this conversation I assure you.)

I must also note that MHD twice referenced “Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow.” I love that man.

In SMA news, he scored a 98 on a recent practice for his bar examination. Unfortunately, there were 200 questions. In all seriousness, he is doing well with the class that will end soon.

After the reunion, I visited RAW, KJW, and briefly KLTW at their home. We watched part of The Karate Kid, Part II. For the first time, we noticed that Law & Order SVU shrink B.D. Wong (credited as Bradd Wong) had a part as an extra. It is one of those movies where you see something new every time.

We mainly played with KJW. Among her new routines is knowing that the water goes down the drain and into the sewer. She asked her mom recently and remembered the answers. I am skeptical that she grasps the concept of sewer.

In addition, she now answers the question, “What sound does a shark make?” by humming the theme to Jaws. She can also name each of the Wonder Pets and sing the show’s theme song. These bits are far better when she does them than when I explain them.

She wore my hat much of the night. We played with her basketball set and with her bongos. I especially enjoy the latter as her pronunciation of bongos sounds strangely like “bunghole.” I have added it to my list of words that are fun to hear KJW speak.

Afterwards, I went to MLM’s home for the second week of the Summer Breeze Bible Study. It had been a long time since I had visited his house. Though I liked his new dog Max, I missed Snoopy, his original dog whom I housesat for on occasion. MLM did proudly display the box Snoopy’s ashes are kept in so it was like he was there in a way.

Due to a church patriotic musical performance that ran late, we only had three students attend - MEH, BJ, HS. BJ was the only one who did not attend the previous week. We covered the historical books of Joshua, Judges, and Ruth. Though the group was small, it was a good session.

My night concluded at SMA’s where I caught the last few matches of the WWE pay-per-view “Night of Champions.” with SMA, and DBN. All eight contests were championship matches. This is a clear sign that you have too many championships. I did enjoy being with my friends.