In Eckleburg's Eyes - 6/17/2008

On Monday night, I attended the opening night of the second annual Rocky Top Basketball League with JTL and MPW at Bearden High School.

The Rocky Top League is a six-team summer basketball league comprised of former and current college basketball players. Virtually the entire UT roster participated and many former Vols are also on in the league. Three games each are played on Mondays and Wednesdays. The games are high scoring dunkfests with little attention paid to defense.

It is housed at Bearden High School, which poses three major annoyances. 1. There is no air conditioning and the games are played in a crowded gym at the climax of the summer. 2. The seats are incredibly hard on the buttocks. 3. The announcer tries to make clever quips before, during, and after every play. The last annoyance far exceeds the first two and the young man makes my very short list of people who need to die for the good of the country. He has my entire crew wishing AFD or JER, who typically announce Bearden games, were there.

Someone inexplicably locked the back entrances to the school forcing all of the heavy traffic into a single entrance. This caused me to be later than I had hoped. Fortunately, JTL, always early, saved MPW and I great seats. We had a good time getting our first look at UT’s much hyped incoming freshmen. My review is posted under a “View from 315A.”

Having had all of the basketball (more accurately the basketball commentary over the p.a. system) I could handle, I briefly visited JTH at MoFos before heading to SMA’s where we celebrated CST’s 28th birthday and watched WWE Monday Night Raw. In attendance were SMA, WRK, DBN (still no sign of the wife), CST, and myself. SMA made everyone (sans this teatotaler) a drink called a “buttery nipple.” They seemed to like it.

CST begins his new job at Courthouse Retrieval Systems next Monday (June 23rd). Thankfully, he will incur no pay cut. He recently came back from a successful trip to Tunica, MS. He also informed me that in the northeast, there is a skill crane that procures live lobsters. He immediately thought of me, and wanted me to go get dinner for four for $4. It was nice to have my skill acknowledged. Why do none of my skills results in money?

While talking about UT basketball, we came up with a brilliant promotional idea. We want a Dyron Nix Jheri Curl night. Dyron Nix played in a low era of UT basketball but averaged 21.6 points per game as a senior and was drafted into the NBA. More importantly, he had a killer Jheri Curl . Our idea is to present the first 5000 fans in attendance with Jheri Curl wigs. They would sell tickets like hot cakes. Perhaps the current UT crop could play for one game in wigs as well. The only thing better than Tyler Smith is Tyler Smith with Jheri Curl. I will be pitching the concept to Tennessee head coach Bruce Pearl at the Rocky Top League this summer. Stay tuned for results of that dialogue.