In Eckleburg's Eyes - 6/16/2008

I had a great weekend, highlighted by my first ever visit to AdventureCon. If you are familiar with this event, you may be surprised that I have never attended.

Friday marked the only Friday the 13th of 2008. It also represented my last day of my acting tenure at my church as part of perhaps the palest company in the history of volunteer acting troupes. On this day, I had only two lines, but had to pantomime a great deal. File this under things I am uncomfortable doing. Fortunately, I only grinned inappropriately at one point. God humbled me yet again as I discovered one more thing I am not especially good at.

I played the dual roles of Jesus and the “Good Samaritan” (I hate that titling of Luke 10:25-37). I had only been acting two days and I was already typecast. Sadly, I would have far preferred portraying the bandits who beat the traveler half to death.

My costume as Jesus was comprised of the same burlap pastel ensemble I had worn as Jeremiah the previous day, only this time a matching headband was added. I noted that this made a grand theological statement about Jesus continuing the line of the prophets. Then I noted that it was fitting that Jesus play the Samaritan as hew as the embodiment of the character. MEI seemed to appreciate this line of thinking. I am not sure about anyone else...

The children provided change for children’s education in Kenya under the auspices of Child Aid Africa. BWM actually presented some of the children to their benefactors after Thursday’s performance.

VBS also provided me an opportunity to see many old friends. On Friday, I got to chat briefly with LEJ. I was also especially benefitted by a long conversation with long-time friends FMC, JLC, and FEP, all of whom had the misfortune of teaching me in my more mischievous days.

I spent Friday afternoon helping my mother prepare for a bridal shower for our neighbor, LLW. Out of town guests in for the following day’s wedding congregated at our home. There was much work to be done as the bride invited eighty people, assuming the majority would decline. This provides further evidence against assuming as most everyone showed up. For those who have been to my home, you know that we far exceeded its capacity. I helped prepare the house, even mopping.

Gratefully exiled during the party, I shopped for Father’s Day and visited JTH and Cole at MoFoS. I was especially pleased that Cole requested I bring him some cole slaw from Chick-Fil-A. It takes so little to please me these days...

I returned to help my mother and her assistants MAFG and SWW clean up from the party. It was the least I could do for not having to attend. The party was a success in the sense that people seemed to have a good time. On the other hand, my mother, not wanting to have her spread seem “skimpy” bought enough dessert for two hundred guests. Unfortunately, all of the aforementioned guests had eaten dessert at Regas at the rehearsal dinner before coming, so we were left with enough dessert to feed a small army. This is not all bad.

As an aside, JTH and PAT would film the wedding the next day.

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On Saturday, SMA and I drove to the Knoxville Convention Center where we attended AdventureCon. This is an event I could best describe as the ultimate nerd convention. The Knoxville version was established in 2001. I have wanted to go to such a convention ever since seeing the episode “Shawn vs. The Red Phantom” of “Psych” set at “The Con”.

The event hosts many vendors. Comic book stores fill the majority of these booths. There also many celebrities on hand whose autographs and pictures can be purchased for a fee.

It is one of the few events known to man where one is likely to see as many people dressed as Stormtroopers as females. On this day, there were many attendees dressed up as GhostBusters. This was evidently in homage to the appearance of Ernie Hudson.

We arrived and waited in line to obtain tickets. Actually, one is not given a ticket to the event, merely a wrist band. Admission was $20. Most of the activities inside required further cash.

At the moment I was paying for tickets, security was called. SMA and I did not know what had happened but our minds raced with the possibilities that existed in such an environment. It turns out, the major breech of etiquette was a man distributing brochures for Connooga, the Chattanooga version of the event. What was especially funny was that one of Knoxville’s finest was sitting next to the administrator when she radioed her associate. Evidently the KPD has far less stroke than the AdventureCon staff.

When we entered the event, we were met by countless booths of what amounts to toys and comic books. Many booths had loose 1980s GI Joe figures. One booth even displayed an original Daisy Duke figure still in the package. I did not know they made them either.

We actually saw a video game graded - a GI Joe Nintendo game for the original NES. It was graded at only 85 or we would have jumped at the chance to own it. Well, not really...

Another favorite of the event was bootleg DVDs. These are quality homemade versions of yet-to-be released titles. One staple at such events is Disney’s 1946 film Song of the South which will likely never be released due to racial overtones.

One booth sold only these bootleg videos, proudly demonstrating the quality by running continual episodes of the cartoon “Gilligan’s Planet.” As a DVD connoisseur, I am opposed to bootleg DVDs and bought none, not that "Gilligan's Planet" was a great temptation.

There were four people signing autographs free of charge (well not citing the $20 cover charge). They were Andrew Divoff, Danielle Harris, Hudson and “Hannah Montana”’s Mitchel Musso. We opted not to wait in line for any of these freebies.

It is worth noting that a replica of the GhostBusters car “Ecto-1" was on site next to the autograph lines.

We had the option of shelling out $30 extra to obtain autographs from other guests at the convention. I came willing to do so until I found that Kevin Sorbo cancelled. It seems he has gotten another television program though I have found record of it. Even if this is true, where are his priorities anyway?

The one autograph I got was from WWEHall of Famer Mr. Fuji. He was at the Regal booth. He actually is a ticket taker at their theater in Knoxville Center. (Wrestlers really need retirement plans.) I made a $5 donation to the Star of Hope Mission. No one was in line so I talked to him at length about my favorite wrestlers, the Von Erichs. He worked with Kerry from 1990-1992. I found it interesting that he stressed Kerry's Christianity. Fuji was difficult to understand as his English is limited and he is very soft spoken, but he could not have been kinder. I resisted the urge to ask him to throw salt in my eyes, one of his trademarks in the ever xenophobic world of professional wrestling.

There were two other wrestlers in attendance. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper seemed very kind to fans as he signed autographs. We simply could not justify paying the money to stand in line for a limited time with the Hot Rod though.

We did, however, talk to former WWE wrestler Virgil. His two career gimmicks (Virgil and Vincent) were named after opposing promoters as it was an insult to have such a jobber named after you. He was billed by his WWE name, Virgil. He desperately tried to sell me a photo of himself. Within a span of five seconds his price incrementally reduced from $25 to $20 to 15. I felt like I was listening to Abraham begging for Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 18:16-33). Virgil’s desperation was offputting. He had no more success selling me a photo of himself than he did convincing promoters that he was anything more than a curtain jerker.

I left with a $5 personalized photo of Mr. Fuji and SMA left with two Peyton Manning action figures. It was a good trip.

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I spent Sunday, Father’s Day at four gatherings with family and friends.

On Sunday morning, Sunday School convened at RAW’s house. Since it was Father’s Day and she was being very cute, we spent much of the time reading to KJW. By the way, why are there no fake uncle days?

On this day, I gave her an Aladdin pop-up book. She is in the stage where she points to just about anything and asks, “What this?” regardless of whether she knows what it is or not.

After reading the Aladdin book, KJW and I read an alphabet book that paired words with the corresponding letter of the alphabet that started the words. I was impressed when we got to the Y’s that she knew what a yo-yo was as I had never seen her with one. I asked, “Have you ever had a yo-yo?” She replied immediately, “Yes.” Her father gave her a look, knowing she was lying through her baby teeth. Without missing a beat the child said, “I sold it.” Priceless.

At one point I squeezed her for a long period of time. She said, “Chan, I love you too.” It almost made up for their being no fake uncle days.

After a less than productive Sunday School meeting, I celebrated Father’s Day with my family at Aubrey’s. My dad even got to select the restaurant. We were joined by two of my parents’ favorite couples from church - JLJ (pictured) and wife JLJ and HWW and his wife LGW. The latter couple proudly presented photo books of their new granddaughter. This put further pressure on me to spawn.

Also at the restaurant were my old friends MBR and RWW and their respective families. It was great catching up.

Our next engagement was for dinner with my maternal extended family at Calhoun’s on Bearden hill. We celebrated Father’s Day and my cousin ACN’s departure. Well, we sent her off. We were not happy she was leaving. (Note: She HATED this photo of herself. I, however liked it and since it is my blog...)

ACN leaves Thursday (June 19th) for Camp Lenox where she will serve as dance instructor and lead a cabin full of girls until August 15th. On August 18th she begins her training as a resident assistant at UMass. In short, it will be a long time until I see my baby cousin again.

My evening concluded where the day had begun, at RAW’s. We were joined by KL, KLTW, KJW, MPW, and their father ROW as we celebrated father’s day by watching the Lakers beat the Celtics 103-98 in Game Five of the NBA Finals.

I brought KJW a pack of Speed Racer yo-yos. This meant that I bought supplied her first yo-yo, ostensibly her second yo-yo. I told her not to sell them this time.

We also ate dessert. KLTW baked brownies and KL and MPW volunteered to procure the ice cream. Sending the love birds unsupervised was a bad idea. They emerged over an hour (from a grocery store less than a mile down the road) later with the exotic flavor of...vanilla. So “ice cream” is what the kids are calling it these days...