WAM Quote of the Day - 5/25/2008

WAM graciously drove with me to Newport, Tennessee, today where I preached at Holy Trinity Evangelical Lutheran Church. As I spent many hours with him there was a wealth of material to choose from. I will present the winner and then just some of the quotes that merited honorable mention.

“Electric cars kill blind people.”

The rationale behind this quote was that the blind rely on their other senses, such as hearing, to detect oncoming cars. Since electric cars are so quiet, the blind cannot hear oncoming cars and might inadvertently cross a crowded street leading to their death. WAM’s hypothesis is that though electric cards are more fuel efficient and might help the oil crisis, the neglected downside would be increased death totals to the blind.

Honorable mention:

• “Golden Wok Chinese Restaurant.” I liked this quote because it was so random. For much of the first half of the trip, WAM played with my GPS. He would often give completely irrelevant information with absolutely no prodding.
  
• On Knoxville’s present interstate closing: “Why is it taking them a year and a half to fix a mile and a half stretch with no traffic?” I got nothing. I would have responded that the estimate is a mere fourteen months, but I have a feeling WAM’s will end up being more accurate.
  
• We discussed a recent book I read entitled 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America (And Al Franken Is #37). I noted that Michael Moore was #1. WAM’s response: “He’s singlehandedly keeping the restaurant industry in business.” I, naturally replied, “What?” WAM: “Have you seen how fat he is?”
  
• I remarked that former president Jimmy Carter was #6. WAM’s commentary: “I thought he’d be higher...he is just an idiot...he never met a dictator he didn’t like.” This seems like a good time to post the disclaimer that WAM’s thoughts are his alone and do not reflect mine or anyone associated with any known group.
  
• In response to the Lutheran church utilizing an acolyte: “In all the fantasy titles, acolytes usually have strange and mystical powers that usually revolve around evil and demonic rituals.” He then went on to note that “strange” is good while the word “weird” is bad as strange has a mysterious connotation. I have always interpreted both pejoratively to be honest.
  
• In response to a church was passed called “First Christian Church.”: “Now that’s just false advertising.” This was followed by the idea of calling oneself the Only (insert name of denomination here) Church. I commented that it would eventually be difficult to change stationary when another church of the same denomination was built and he refuted this by claiming that you would simply discredit the new church. It is sad how realistic this strategy is...
  
• “You need to start a new genre.” This was followed with the suggestion that I develop garage churches to bring back the days of the circuit riding preacher. The fact that this concept did not seem ludicrous to me was probably a sign I had spent too much time in one day with WAM.