In Eckleburg's Eyes - 4/2/2008

Naturally, I spent my April’s Fool’s Day working on an elaborate prank.

The background: The church’s Literature Ministry meets on the second Saturday of each month. LAC, who supervises the endeavor always complains that young people do not help with the project. When I have helped, I have observed that he gripes about everything else. So, with MLM’s permission, I attempted to complete the entire ministry project in a day, so that when he arrives at the warehouse, there will be nothing to do. This way, God directly benefits from my prank.

My accomplice was my Bible Study friend CMU, with some morning help from my mother, DLNV. MLM thought it would be feasible to complete the project as to his knowledge there had been few donations thus far this month. So, at 10 am, MLM unlocked the vault and left without checking its contents.

Surprise! There had been numerous donations since then. Undaunted, we started anyway. Fortunately, the rain that had been predicted never materialized giving us a full day to work. We worked straight through to 5 pm with 20 boxes still remaining! This is impressive as the ministry usually has a dozen volunteers. All of the remaining boxes had been sorted which should make our next shift easier (hopefully with MLM’s help). I will be in New York when the work has been discovered and will have a perfect alibi. (Even when doing a charitable act as part of a prank, an alibi is a prerequisite.)

The really bad thing is that the weather cooperated and it was a beautiful day. I had not planned on being outside all day, and I believe I now have a 37th degree sunburn! I honestly did not know people could be so red. The things I will do for a prank...

This backfired almost as much as the Great New China Inn Heist of ‘05. God willing, an unplanned pregnancy will not somehow come out of this.

On the plus side, I did receive several complimentary books. God knows I need more books.

Despite the burn, it was actually a great day. It finished with me eating dinner with my parents at Calhoun’s and then buying massive quantities of Solarcaine.

In other news, SQP, whom I once served as nanny, was in the local paper’s survey of Prom. He spent a whopping $800! More amazingly, he spent more than his date! How is that even possible? Somehow, he still managed to look happy in the photo.

The bike I listed for PAT on eBay sold for $76 + $50 shipping minus our listing charges. That was not a bad stipend for living at the complex. I wonder if the bike's original owner repurchased it...

In closing:

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. (Originally written by Mary Schmich and “sung by Baz Luhrmann)