In Eckleburg's Eyes - 3/17/2008

My weekend was spent with SMA in Atlanta, watching the Vols play in the SEC Tournament. Naturally, the year that we decided to go to the event would be the year a tornado affected it - an event so unforeseeable that there was no contingency plan.

After a pleasant, but late, Thursday night, SMA and I set out for Atlanta bright and early on Friday morning. Fatigue was clearly a factor as SMA forgot his lap top, cell phone, and the tickets to the event. You read that correctly. Fortunately, we discovered that the tickets were missing while still in Knoxville. We did not realize the loss of the other items until we reached Atlanta. I brought my laptop, but without his, we could not position the two back-to-back and pretend to play Battleship. It was a big loss.

One thing SMA did not forget were his retro striped Tennessee warm up pants that the Vols brought back in the season opener against Temple. One man turned to him and said only, “You should be ashamed.” That was a more favorable response than we anticipated when he checked into our highfalutin Buckhead hotel wearing the loud pants.

We arrived in Atlanta hungry, just before noon. We actually tailed sports columnist Tony Barnhart to the arena. It was a great feeling to go to a game having already secured tickets.

We ate at the adjacent Georgia World Congress Center. The seemingly endless building has a food court with kiosks from all over the world, including Greenland! With the world to choose from - we chose Georgia Barbeque. Despite not particularly branching out, the food was good.

I must also note that an establishment whose sign read simply “Idaho” appeared to sell only potatoes, confirming my suspicions that there is nothing else in that state. What were the odds of me referencing Idaho twice within a week?

After eating, we made our way to the Georgia Dome for the first game of the day - Tennessee vs. South Carolina. Surprisingly, neither of us had ever been there before. We had almost gone in July 1999 to see Goldberg defeat Hulk Hogan, but were deterred when we learned that despite SMA’s insistence, flying standby was not free. It is a true story. Ask CST.

We were both surprised by the appearance of the sixteen-year old building. It somehow seemed older. The large structure serves as the home of the NFL’s Atlanta Falcons. The size that would have made it impressive was negated as half of the stadium was cordoned off for basketball.

Despite being unimpressed by the stadium’s look, SMA’s primary concern was that the dome’s dimensions would negate Tennessee’s depth perception and as such, our shooting would be greatly affected.

Tennessee had a strong contingency there. We sat amongst them. Kentucky fans arrived en masse for the event, far surpassing all other schools. Tennessee and Mississippi State had the next largest following. It was very impressive to see everyone wearing their team’s colors. It felt as though we were participating in a good version of color wars.

Our seats would have been wonderful football seats, but unfortunately we were there for basketball. We were behind the goal and on the aisle. The aisle was very significant. We played the first of four games, meaning fans from other games continuously walked up and down the aisles painfully slowly, impeding our view. It was miserable. We moved to a higher level at the half.

Making matters worse were my splitting headache from sleep deprivation and the fact that the Vols were not playing well. Had they lost, we would have been heading straight back to Knoxville. Fortunately, a clutch three-point basket by Chris Lofton sealed a victory. My thoughts on the game are posted under a “View from 315A.”

Afterwards, we went to SEC Fanfare. We were pleasantly surprised to find free passes in our ticket book. FanFare is a sponsored event which features games and attractions for fans. It comes across superbly on television, but falls flat in person. We admit the event was a great attraction for children, but for adults (and even us) it would not have been worth paying for. Thankfully, we did not.

We also felt that somehow we had missed out on a lot of swag. We saw people carrying huge bags from the event and all we wound up with were a mini basketball, a shirt from Eckrich which read “summer grilling tour ‘07" (thanks for your trash) and a lanyard. While the lanyard proved valuable as we wore it around our necks to carry our tickets, we felt like our plunder was inferior in both quality and quantity than others. It will be interesting to see what use MLM will make of the shirts.

While at the event, our hands were given a green dot to gain readmittance. Fearing it might be the mark of the beast, I had the ticket taker mark my left hand (Revelation 13:16). (After viewing this photo, I may quit ministry to become a hand model.) My theory on the mark of the beast, you ask? MySpace!

After the letdown at FanFare, we went to cheer Arkansas to victory over Vanderbilt. We even “called the hogs”, or at least participated in the fun arm motions that accompany the cheer. Afterwards, we opted to stay in the area over braving Atlanta rush-hour traffic. So we went to nearby CNN Center and ate at the Don Juan Mexican Cantina. My burrito grande was good, but it was certainly no Soccer Taco. Afterwards, we shopped in the complex. While I scavenged for souvenirs for KJW, SMA entertained people with his skill at Family Guy pinball.

We returned to the Dome for the seemingly endless Alabama-Mississippi State game. The entire stadium seemed to collectively laugh at the absurdity of Alabama’s Mykal Riley hitting a dramatic three-point shot to send the game into overtime. We had already made the decision to leave after the game. That three-pointer may have saved our lives. At the evry least, it shielded us from a tornado.

Had the game not been extended, we would have been caught in the eye of the tornado that rocked the Georgia Dome. The structure’s support system visibly shook and debris fell in the overtime period. The game was stopped with 2:11 left on the clock. Fortunately, the debris fell in part of the arena that was not being used. As such, no one was hurt.

We wanted to leave, but the arena was put on lockdown. Eventually security acknowledged that they could not detain anyone. We spared ourselves a lot of trouble by leaving against their better judgement.

Though we were surrounded by debris and ambulances, we had little trouble getting to our shelter, room 419 of the Embassy Suites, in upscale Buckhead. Soon after arriving, SMA craved some Tylenol® PM. It was surreal asking the concierge where I could score some drugs. We proceeded on foot a neighboring Kroger. You know you are an opulent area when you pass two cigar stores before you get to a grocery store. Exhausted, we were in for the night by midnight.

We awoke the next morning to the news that we would not be attending Tennessee’s next game. Unfit for play, the Georgia Dome was no longer hosting the event. Adjacent Phillips Arena, home of the NBA’s Atlanta Hawks was booked by a gospel concert. This meant, that the game was moved to Georgia Tech’s Alexander Memorial Coliseum.

The new venue had 40% of the capacity of the Georgia Dome. With the adjusted schedule and smaller venue, only student-athletes' families, cheerleaders, bands and other credentialed individuals would be allowed to attend the remaining games of the tournament. Why were cheerleaders there? There was no one to lead! I’m not bitter though.

SMA and I both envisioned the atmosphere resembling the Terry Funk-Jerry Lawler empty arena match. (I realize that virtually no one will get that reference.)

At this point, we had four viable options:

• 1. Buy a Tennessee jersey with the #40 and claim to be relatives of walk-on Rick Daniels-Mulholland. Who else would own that jersey?
  
• 2. Stand outside the Georgia Dome and try to find some really clueless fans and scalp our tickets.
  
• 3. Storm the castle. We were one man short. We might pass for Cary Elwes and Mandy Patinkin but there was clearly no Andre the Giant on the squad. Besides, we also had no holocaust cloak to list among our assets.
  
• 4.Leave.

We took the safe option and hit the road. So our plans of dining at the Cheesecake Factory and seeing my seminary friends were postponed.

The trip was still well worth making. All three games we watched were decided by six points or less, including two 2-point contests. We also left with a good story - the time UT blew the roof off at the SEC tournament.

We also took solace in the fact that Kentucky was the only team to send fans who did not see their team play even a single game. UK was also hurt the most by the realignment, as what would have been near a home game was eliminated when their fans were sent packing.

Plus, we both returned home to our favorite girls - his 21 years old and mine 21 months old.

After opting to pass on a long wait for an unimpressive complimentary breakfast, we left the hotel. We stopped at nearby Lenox Square. While there I ate my first Cinnabon. My big (and only) purchase was at Urban Outfitters. I bought a “Grow Jesus (because he is awesome!)” novelty item. It is the same premise as the sponge toys usually reserved for dinosaurs and the like. I am apprehensive to use the toy as I feel John’s inadequacy in baptizing Jesus (Matthew 3:14).

If interested, someone has posted an eight-day time lapse video of Jesus growing here.

On our way to the interstate we acknowledged that was is now a Ruby Tuesday franchise, was once the Houston’s restaurant where former Tennessee running back Jamal Lewis was busted for drugs in 2000. With that bit of Tennessee trivia behind us, we headed back to Knoxville, but our encounter with tornadoes was not yet over.

On the way home, we called the always reliable DBN to find a radio station so that we could listen to the UK-UGA game. As we listened, we learned we were driving directly into the heart of another tornado. The game’s broadcast was interrupted with safety protocol, including covering one’s face. Since we were in a car (a major no-no) and could not comply with the other suggestions, SMA put his new complimentary Eckrich t-shirt over his head. I honestly envisioned my cell phone and this picture found amongst the rubble and our corpses disgusting emergency technicians. I white knuckled my way through a terrible storm around Cartersville and it was smooth sailing from there.

The radio “experts” claimed that they may supply this year’s tournament ticket holders with vouchers for next year’s event in Tampa. This year we saw a tornado - next year a hurricane!

I returned in time to watch the Tennessee game on RAW’s big screen with he and MPW. Unfortunately, we lost and were eliminated from the tournament. My thoughts are posted under a “View from 315A”

I do have mixed emotions regarding not attending. On the one hand, I was not subjected to a loss and the subsequent awful ride home. On the other hand, had I been there, we may have won. The Vols have not lost with me in attendance - including three road games. Since my attendance is clearly a deciding factor - Bruce, get me tickets for the NCAAs!

KJW and KLTW’s arrival (just as we lost) softened the blow considerably. We grudgingly watched the Georgia-Mississippi State game as we talked with them. KJW seemed to appreciate the stuffed "New Hound" dog I had gotten her at the CNN Center. Even in defeat, it was great to be with my “family.”

KJW is now very adept with a computer. She calls it “Elmo” because she surfs Elmo’s site. Though she assumes the sole function of the computer is to play Elmo games, it is amazing how quickly kids acclimate to technology these days. That sentence really made me sound old.

The next morning, I spent Palm Sunday with my class at RAW’s house. Again, I used Bible Trivia cards to stimulate discussion. My favorite question of the day was the misspelled - “In what city did Rehab live?” I am guessing somewhere in California. (The minister in me cannot resist reminding you that Rahab was the prostitute who housed Israelite spies in Jericho.)

PAT was incredibly well dressed. I believe KLTW exact descriptor was “sexy.” The rest of the guys were wearing W.C. Vinson Ministries t-shirts! I was so honored. More noteworthy than MPW wearing the shirt, was his allowing me to photograph him in it. (Is it just me or have these guys been in a lineup before?)

WAM generously provided lunch for us all from Subway (without being asked). In addition to lunch, he brought his newest bumper sticker promoting http://www.hardcorechristiangamer.com/. In doing so, he taught me a new word - pwn. Evidently this is a slang term brought to us from the gaming community which implies total domination. It seems to have originated due to consistent misspelling of the word “own.” WAM always teaches me something.

The biggest news of the day was that KJW spent her first day in Sunday School! Though she was not particularly thrilled with the prospects of wearing a dress, all went well. She especially liked the church’s swing set. Who knew that would be a draw?

After a chaotic weekend, I spent a pleasant evening with KLTW, KJW, and RAW, eating pizza and coconut. The strange combination came from RAW's desire to buy a coconut after he had learned from Survivorman how to properly eat one. TV is educational after all. Speaking of which, on this night we watched "The Women of Ninja Warrior.” We especially cheered for Fukushima and Fukushita because we liked their names.