In Eckleburg's Eyes - 3/12/2008

I spent Tuesday night with RAW and his family, knowing that my travel plans the next two weeks will keep me from them.

I arrived and briefly got to see PWC, RSC, and PEW. An exhausted KJW, RAW and I watched "SpongeBob SquarePants" on television. That show must be on all day as whenever I am there, it is on. (Yes, RAW and KJW are sharing a plush Winnie the Pooh as a pillow.)

Her gift on this day was a foam basketball. She seemed to like it. It is as much for me as her. I can now pelt her in the head guilt free. (Is it wrong that I enjoy that so much?) Plus, when she retaliates, this ball is much softer than a golf ball. It is well worth the 88¢ I paid for it.

After she was well rested, we took KJW to MoFoS to see JTH and generally reek havoc on the store. We always give her free reign. If any other guardian allowed a child to do this, I would resent them. It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds. As this picture indicates, there were consequences to her rambunctiousness.

KJW eventually got the better of things. She knocked over a display cut out of Homer Simpson. She snuck in betwen shelves where no adult could reach her. Most importantly, she also took her revenge on JTH as she discovered that pulling the strings on his hoodie resulted in choking him.

In other KJW news, her favorite new word is “sucks.” I take great pride in the fact that though she spends a lot of time around guys, it was her mother who inadvertently taught her this word. KLTW used the descriptor while on the phone and KJW quickly picked it up. Children have a knack for picking up the thing you least want them to. It’s like a gift. I cannot wait to hear about her Nana's reaction when her cute little granddaughter says this word clear as day.

We stayed at MoFoS until closing and then returned to RAW’s house. JTH joined us after he had found his copy of Happy Campers that we had hidden in ths store. We arrived at the same time as KLTW. She actually had a patient yesterday whose real name was Mr. Dildoman. Evidently he pronounces it dil-dom-man. I would too.

The highlight of the night was KJW leading the entire group in a dance session. It was so fun mimicking her moves. The dance ended when we all fell down to “ashes, ashes, we all fall down.” It was good, dorky fun. I just hope nobody saw through the window.

Yesterday marked DBN’s birthday so we called and all talked to him. He returns to Knoxville on March 24th. He will be living in Fox Lake apartment complex and selling landline phone for AT&T. The job is a term job, but fortunately the term is three years. Happy Birthday, Mongo!

The only negative yesterday came with a startling self discovery. I was watching a segment on E! Television. (No, I do not know why.) It noted that the most probable person described in Alanis Morisette’s 1995 hit “You Ought to Know” is shockingly Dave Coulier who played Joey Gladstone on "Full House." They dated after meeting at a hockey game in 1992. She was only 16!

More stupefying than this was the revelation that I am Joey in RAW’s family scheme. MPW is the good looking biological uncle and I am the perpetually single comedic counterpart! I told this to RAW and he protested greatly, but not to appease me. In that analogy he was Bob Saget and he was having none of that! So I cut it out. Quit it. Er...