On Tuesday night, we reconvened at RAW’s house, as is often the case when the Vols’ basketball team is on a road trip. Before the game, KLTW, KJW, and RAW ate Cruncheros. (I had already eaten.) One of KJW’s special talents is somehow managing to fill her stomach while also covering a surface area on the table, floor, and herself that I would have otherwise thought mathematically impossible given the relatively small amount food she is given.
MPW joined us and we all watched the game together. (Well, KLTW was studying and KJW was being KJW, but they were in the room anyway.) In our first game ever being ranked #1 in the nation, we lost. It was disappointing to say the least. My thoughts on the game are posted under a “View from 315A.”
More annoying than the Vols’ loss was the repeated airing of a Bowflex commercial featuring the “success story” of Brian Alvarez. You may have seen it as it has been airing since last April. The man could not be more obnoxious if he tried. He is the guy who actually boasts, “I gave all my fat clothes, to my fat friends.” I am sure they are still his “friends.” I hope his “fat friends” light his old “fat clothes” on fire on his thin front porch! Does using a Bowflex mean that as you lose weight, you begin treating people terribly? Dare I say that Chuck Norris would never have said this while advertising the Total Gym. Then again, Norris would never have had “fat clothes” to begin with.
Alvarez also adds, “My wife gives me that little wink every now and then." So, his wife is superficial too. Maybe the wink is her way of indicating that she regrets her decision to marry this man and he is too wrapped up in himself to know it. Wink, wink.
The authoritative Wrestling Observer newsletter has reported that this person is the wrestling journalist of the same name. He would make a great wrestling villain, or at least as a Ben Stiller Globo Gym associate in Dodgeball. He should learn from the wrestling world though - don’t use your real name!
So is this the worst ad ever for a self help product? (Maybe that’s his angle - to next appear in a personality improvement commercial.) In short, I would rather watch an ad for feminine hygiene products than this douchebag! (Pun intended.)
Why did I waste so much time ranting on a Bowflex commercial? I believe this is called transference - taking out my basketball frustrations on the obnoxious Bowflex man.
In any event, it was still fun just being together, even when we lose. No day is a bad day with KJW!
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